“Beautiful Bozena’s Courageous Journey.”
Villager in the Spotlight by Charlene Burton

Beautiful Bozena’s Courageous Journey
By Charlene Burton

When Bozena Bylinska left her cold, difficult life in Russian occupied Poland, she never looked back. Pretending to go to Italy on vacation for a few weeks, she took just what she needed and left everything else behind.

Her life in Poland was rigid and unhappy. Married to a KGB agent, she was a dutiful wife and a hard working teacher. She was educated in the field of nutrition, cooking, and restaurant management, acquiring several degrees and diplomas.  Bozena always did what was expected of her, never questioning or considering that there might be a better way, or that she deserved so much more. “I was a blank slate, and then what was imprinted on me was to my disadvantage. I had to see this in order to undo it. If you don’t see it, you can’t fix it,” she explains. Looking back now, with an unrivaled wisdom, she describes herself as “emotionally dead, robot like, numb.” Reflecting on living under Poland’s communist rule she muses, “it’s hard to believe, but I totally didn’t know that there were people who could make their own decisions!” Intimidated and psychologically smothered by her parents and culture, she considers herself at that time “brainless.”

Sitting with her now, in her beautifully appointed home, tucked away in quaint East Setauket, no remnants of that former persona are visible. Although she speaks softly and sweetly, there is an obvious underlying confidence, and strength, as well as great intelligence; the qualities that propelled her through her difficult life toward success and happiness. She patiently continues her story. I am enthralled. I have never met anyone like her.

Her supposed vacation in Italy lasted for two years while she was “waiting for a Visa.” Most of that time was spent in a refugee camp. Fortunately for Bozena, she was a quick study and learned Italian easily. She was one of five who could communicate with the leaders of the camp, making herself the voice of the 1,495 refugees who were unable to communicate with their hosts. As she retells her story, she sprinkles it with personal quotes that she lives by, not unlike the herbs from her garden that she seasons her gourmet cooking with.“Life is not stagnation; it is a process of learning, a flow.” There is no evidence of stagnation in this tale spanning continents and decades, nor in the woman telling it.

Eventually, she was granted a Visa to Canada as an economical immigrant. At this point of the story she interjects, "seize for yourself all opportunities, without hurting others." She says this with the conviction of a person who has been through a lot yet somehow remains untarnished. Her opportunity in Canada was working on a pipeline cooking for 35 men where she learned English quickly. From there she rapidly excelled in her professional life and went on to open a restaurant with a partner. "It is important to be courageous. Expose yourself to different experiences. Look for opportunities." I am not sure if she is saying this to me personally or for the article, but I am taking it to heart because she is so compelling. I am also anxious to hear what happens next.

 The restaurant was very successful. I peruse an article about it, featuring a dark haired smiling Bozena on the cover in a chef’s cap. In spite of this success, there was still a restlessness stirring in her; a voice whispering in her ear to go and see the U.S. "Some things in our life, we know before we know," she explains to me.  I understand, I am on the journey with her. It's an innate intuition, and then..."it comes together before you like a puzzle." In a bold move, which seems to be customary for her, she sold the restaurant and came to New York. "Life is one big path, but life also provides for you little avenues, opportunities on the side streets. Grab them," and she reiterates "without hurting others."

The city was more "civilized" and "more familiar because of the crowds." Finally, Bozena found home; a place she felt she belonged. Lucky for us, she ended up in East Setauket, and here is where she unearthed her true new beginning and happy ending all rolled into one. Examining her life, as she continually does, she realized that she wanted a husband and a home, a happy one this time. Courageous as always and unafraid to go after what she truly wanted, Bozena sought the help of a local dating service, where she found Mike, who set up this interview and sits with us now in their lovely living room overlooking the garden. Mike was another leap in her life. Fate handed her a devoted, kind, supportive husband who is appreciative of all her talents and the wonderful woman she has evolved into. For Bozena, “Mike fills in all the gaps.” He was the last piece of the puzzle in her personal life giving her the love and encouragement that was notably lacking for so long.

Professionally she moved on as well. By adding compassion, sensitivity and wisdom to the skills that she had learned so long ago in Poland, she was able to embark on a new career as a companion and caretaker to the infirm. “I like to be with the elderly, I can relate to them and help them do things they cannot do themselves,” she confesses. “Through my knowledge about myself I learned patience, which is critical to my job. I try to provide an atmosphere of safety and security.” Judging by her references and testimonials, she does just that. This is just one more achievement for a woman with a growing list of accomplishments.
The interview is about to close. Two hours have passed like minutes, and I somehow don’t want to leave. If I had someone who needed caring for, I would want Bozena to be the one holding his or her hand. She imparts one last bit of wisdom, “the answer is in us, only youknow what you are. We often don’t ask ourselves the right questions.” Promising to keep in touch we all embrace and say good-bye. I look at her and Mike standing on the porch and marvel at their connection.. Getting into my car, I look back at the house and see a couple who not only compliment each other but were meant to be together. Her long journey led her to this place, to him. They are lucky

As I drive back into town, I recognize something really special has just transpired. Bozena’s perseverance and optimism were truly inspiring, instilling a genuine a sense of hopefulness; for the world, for those who are feeling lost, for me. I think of how I would have never have met her if not for threevilllagepeople.com and I am so very thankful for both.

Bozena Homecare specializes in providing experienced
caring and versatile in-home services. You can find her in number 18 Health and Beauty Way on ThreeVillage People.com

Village Fever
By Charlene Burton
 
I am a born networker. Networking is just something I love. I don't know why. If I have a wonderful oil burner repairman, I want to share him with all my neighbors. If I know two friends who could benefit each other in some way, I want to introduce them. So, for me, being a part of a neighborhood networking site is a dream come true. It’s wonderful to have a place where you can search easily for local services and consequently stumble upon interesting and diverse businesses and people. Where can you go to find a painter, craft person, lawyer, a professional organizer, muralist, or hair salon all in one place? Knowing that they are in the Three Village area makes it all the better. For those who are internet leery, the Village map is easy to navigate combining sophisticated technology with a certain comfortable home-town quality. And as people network among themselves, the site grows, kind of like that seventies shampoo commercial where "they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on and so on." Before you know it, the screen is filled with people who love this shampoo.

Judging by the response, people love ThreeVillagePeople.com as well. It became apparent to me at the grand opening party. It was actually a fascinating metamorphosis. All these people who "live" in these virtual houses came to life. I got to meet the artists and crafts people who live on my street, a financial planner who was comical and personable, individuals I had previously interviewed, and others whose businesses I saw on the site and was just curious about. I wasn’t the only one to be caught by this village fever. People who would have probably otherwise never met were exchanging cards, stories and laughs. What a wonderful night! When it came time for the next Networking night, I thought it had just been the excitement of the grand opening that had people in such a happy state, but the enthusiasm continued. People came out of their houses and met, some for the first time; there was a line to sign up!

I've pondered about this "Village Fever" People have asked "what makes this different from any other local website?" Well quite frankly, I don't know of any website quite like it; one that has rallied together a compilation of diverse people and professions into one neat little package. However, that's not what really drives the site; it's the fact that it has a heart. That's because it comes from the heart of Wendy Martin, conceiver and owner. She has lovingly drawn and virtually birthed this Village, having faith when it was only a seed of an idea. She has been flexible enough to help it grow in different directions than perhaps she had originally intended; encouraging others to sprout off her idea into further areas; a newsletter, a Village Store, a monthly Sermon, Nature notes, a calendar, bulletin board and more features scheduled for the future. The sites future charm and capabilities will be broadened by the imagination and energy that the members bring to it.

Summer Wisdom

Summer reminds one of vacation at the beach or the lakeside.  It is the time of year to enjoy the weather, rather than bearing up.  Picnics and the outdoor bar-be-que are replete with a relaxed, casual attitude towards meal time.  Clothes are less fussy, the days end later and fireworks fill the night skies to celebrate our nation.  We manage to find ourselves outside a lot and enjoying being out of doors.

God has worked relaxation or rest into life’s full schedule.  From the beginning of time, God rested and therefore gave rest to the created.  It is a thoughtful, meaningful respite to counter pose a week of labor. 
        
…by the seventh day God had finished his work.  On the seventh day he rested from al his work.   God blessed the seventh day.  He made it a Holy Day because on that day he rested from his work, all the creating God had done.                           Genesis 2: 2-3

In fact, God’s laws are given to benefit all of humanity.  The Ten Commandments include the fourth to “keep the day of rest holy.”  God’s vacation or ‘day or rest’ has recuperative properties and spiritual implications.  What are we if not physical as well as spiritual beings?  The divine seeks to relate to us.  We are all the better for our relationship with God.   When we consider the goodness of God and the benefits of living for God, we thrive. 

Take time, sit back and think about God and creation, and consider all that God has done.  Rejuvenate, rest and relax, God wants you to take a break - at least one day during the week.   In the Second Testament, the book of Hebrews chapter 4 recommends entering into God’s rest.  The promise of “arrival” and “rest” is still there for God’s people.  God himself is at rest.  And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God.  So, let’s keep the faith and eventually arrive at the place of rest…

Take rest. Consider God’s relationship with you.  Ask God to be real to you and look for God in creation and in the Bible. 

Only by grace,
Rev. Amy   

Rev. Amy Plympton Fortunato is a full The Good News Minister. You can find her in the Sptritual House on ThreeVillage People.com

Ever notice that when the weather warms up, and the gentle hum of the lawnmower is heard throughout the neighborhood, that garage-sale signs spring up all over the place? Coincidence?

As a professional organizer, I see a direct correlation between the mowers and the garage sale signs. In order to get the lawnmower, OUT of the garage, a battle must be waged. The average garage is overflowing with unfinished projects, tools, shoes and sporting equipment. And, small open shelving makes it all too easy for unlike items to be thrown together.

Most homeowners have a little bit of everything in their garage —record collections, exercise equipment, leftover materials from projects and much more. Organizing this part of the home can become a daunting and overwhelming project in and of itself. Most garages stay that way because that “overwhelmed” feeling wins out over the determination to just get the job done.

I liken the garage as a landfill attached to our homes.  Lucky to nudge a car into the garage and luckier still to emerge from the car once it is parked; homeowners wrestle through the jungle of disorganization on a daily basis. 

Clutter rules in the garage, but now that it is spring, it’s time to cut out clutter. 

Consider the following basic objectives, and create a vision beyond the clutter that has littered garages during the last 100 years:

1. When in doubt, throw it out.  Eliminate clutter-buildup that has overtaken the garage.  Have a garage sale, give to charity, take a trip to the real landfill, and take a deep breath and get rid of all the excess.

2. If it's on the floor, it's time to store! A basic premise in garage organizing is to free up floor space.  But how does one deal with the lawn mower, wheel barrow, snow blower, bicycles, and other large items?  One method is to build an enclosed lean-to shed on the side of the garage.  With dimensions of 4' x 8', this addition will free up valuable floor space.  Another option is to build a storage shed in the backyard.  However, many subdivisions are regulated by covenants and restrictions, and one might be required to obtain architectural-committee approval before any addition is built.

3. Organize to visualize.  If you can see it, you can find it. The easiest method to achieve this is to create a wall-storage solution.  Many solutions exist: hooks, racks, custom-made cabinets, and yes, even the lowly nail!  Visit your neighborhood home repair store and get ideas on the myriad of storage options.

4. Storage requirements change over time.  Having the flexibility of lifting a hook from a grooved panel enables one to change or add items stored on the wall for maximum vertical storage.  One of my favorites are the Rubbermaid cabinets.  These cabinets are affordable and durable, and there is nothing to paint and nothing to maintain.  Just use a rubber mallet to hammer the interlocking pieces together, and you’re set!  Then screw the cabinets to the wall.  Cabinets allow one to categorize items to be stored and used routinely. 

5. Plan to simplify, and simplify the plan. Once storage needs have been identified, one can create the required shelving, cabinet, and wall-storage system.

As society becomes more complicated, the need for greater organization and simplification occurs.  The basic concepts outlined above are a step in that direction.  Build fun into creating usable space in the home’s final frontier with a bit of ingenuity and planning!

Eileen koff of To The Next Level can be found in the Neighborhood House on ThreeVillage People.com